I recognise the Sun in the sky, but this a different world. I cannot hear the whispering of the trees, I do not understand the language the land is speaking. The water is not at peace, it tastes of anger and confusion. The air is filled with death, absolute fear and organised violence. The fact I survived I thank my Ancestors.
Not everyone made it; I still hear the screams inside my mind. When I close my eyes, I see death, human mess and people descending into madness. I had to disconnect from my feelings to survive inside my own head. No one is the same after you witness that suffering and pain, you start to realise when a man or woman is taken away, that they probably will not be coming back.
I do not understand what these group of thieves are saying; I look at their expressions on their faces. they make sounds; I check their gestures to avoid the violence. I understand the universal language of fear. This is not the place that you look for someone`s better nature. This is an organised operation, they are trying to break our will to fight, I am a warrior, I choose my battles and await my chance.
I am a prisoner of war. I have been stolen from my homeland. I am the property of no one; they chain me to restrain me.
Our village was not prepared, we were outnumbered and we had no disagreement with these people. Our nature is not to start a battle without a reason. We are a tribe; we describe what we see in our own language. We are a kingdom of hundreds and not the thousands we had to face in war.
When I spoke to others on the journey, I realised our lands was conquered one tribe at a time, as the concept of countries did not exist at that time.
As I stand on the raised platform, I hear men with skin of many colours, making different sounds I do not understand. I hear people raise their voice and bidding in different languages, then the people are pulled by chains away. It is clear we are being sold, what the future holds, I do not know. I will try to escape at every opportunity. I will do what I need to do to be free, however I am not sure who is my enemy, I know those that brought me here are not the real ones in control.
Everyone can see in my eyes I will run if you take off these chains. I have no way to communicate with these new people. They keep making this same sound and then looking at me to respond, with time I understand that this is the name they are going to call me.
It is all about the pain that is used to persuade me to do whatever they say. I began to learn their language for my survival. There are not many of us here, as we are the first generation; they are watching our ways and trying to understand us. I feel like an animal that is being studied for ways to break me.
My intelligence is not required in this place; they measure our intelligence by how well we speak their language. Where I come from it is based on the individuals understanding. We measure the control over our emotions, the wisdom we can be raised from deep within our minds and the understanding we have of the energies that created our environment.
I am forced to mate with women I do not have feelings for. It is the strongest male matched to the strongest women. They want our children to be more productive. They have given up on totally breaking our spirit, we have seen too much, we will never trust them. Our future generations they will have from birth to mould and accept they are slaves.
I have come to understand that the sound by which they call me is my Christian name. It comes from a book that tells story of a man who died to save the world, as we have sinned by having relations with before marriage. They speak of a God that loves us all, that sees everything and if you are good you can live in his house in Heaven. If we do not follow his ways, we will be punished in hell forever.
This God is a vengeful god as well as merciful god, it is in your best interest to just follow and never question his laws, we are told. The book is the word of this God.
As captives, our traditions are now deemed the works of this devil we have not heard of before. We as well as our children are punished from practicing our ways. They want our children to become Christians and lose their connection to us as well as our Ancestral ways.
I have received many beatings to encourage me to change my ways, however no one can convince me, this God loves us in slavery. He seems to reserve his mercy for the ones who are holding us captive. No matter how evil they are, this God does not punish them.
As regards to he who died to save the world, I wish he was travelling on the boat that brought us. I wished he could have saved the Ill and pregnant women as they were thrown into the sea. When it comes down to slaves, it seems this God and Jesus lets everyone have their way with us. I still do not understand why women do not play an equal role in this religion.
When it comes to heaven and hell its sounds like life on the plantation, where the more you are obedient to slave master, the closer you are to the comforts of his heavenly house and further away from the hot hole in the ground.
The land owner is the lord we worship and he sees everything we are doing badly; we are regarded as evil and of the devil when we speak against him. The better you work as a slave, follow the rules, watch what you say, the better are your chances of getting into heavenly home on the plantation. If you challenge the lord of the land, the hole in the ground will be your destination, this sounds like hell to me according to that story.
I fear for my descendent, as they will have wiped out all traces of me by the time they become adults. Our children will not know our cultures or our languages. They will be telling stories of people in the bible and not those from our village. We had no one in our village called John or Matthew.
The connection to their Ancestors will be lost with all their understandings. They will believe Jesus is their saviour forgetting how their Ancestors were slaughtered. How they could be born in sin when we were forced to do this by those who introduced the religion to them.
This type of belief has been taught to the children as a mental insurance.
This religion puts your focus on just men, whilst those from our land had a relationship with women, nature and the stars.
The slave masters chose this religion as it suited their purpose. They now have established themselves as the lords on their plantations; they can create a love for them born out of fear and self-interest from within many of their slaves. This could make slaves willing to report on those who are non-Christians.
They have been taught to reject all other traditions as evil and attack those who dare to question their lord.
It takes many generations to create this hate and fear of your original family.
They will even call those who speak of their ancestors as devil worshippers and of the devil. They knew if you could be convinced to turn your back on our own ancestors, you would not have the inner spirit backing in your fight.
Have you ever wondered why only African ancestors are consider evil, whilst everyone openly worships their own?
No condition is forever, I know that things will eventually change; the power of the Ancestors is never sleeping. Within each group of children, there will be one who can see through the shame. They will always challenge and question why people are suffering.
Deep within their minds they will be able to access the knowledge from the depth inside their soul. They will able to speak of things remembered from their past lives. The restrictions on their minds that other people do not want them to find, will cease to hold them back, as they grow older.
There will always be those prepared to sell another person`s soul for profit, they will use fear and intimidation to stop the persons search for answers. They will use people`s natural desire to understand themselves, to exploit them and make that money which cannot be transported to any god.
This is not about skin colour; all the big religions had a hand in this trade.
No one can claim total innocence as regards to slavery.
One day I hope that all the truth becomes available for all to see, that mankind can return to a higher standard. To own another person is the embodiment of evil in all forms.
I hope my descendant`s are mentally free to return to their Ancestral ways of thinking, one day.
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