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Edison Agbandje

Fall back in love with yourself, to be at peace within

#Love and #Sex are not as related as we now have become so comfortable to accept. The quest for sex has in many cases been masqueraded as the pursuit of love. As the term love describes our connection to things we truly enjoy, the desire for one has become lost in the other.

Whether we are in a relationship or not, we have now become accustomed to look for ways to experience the type of sex we can describe as love.

A means to a sexual end is the game we embark on as we approach situations with our most charming/ attentive persona as the way we present ourselves. We live in hope that we might be surprised by the new person as we want an end to our search. It is tiring putting our story`s fate in the hands of another. When you are young it’s all just a bit of fun, as you get older each situation leaves you colder.

Many people have tried to make a #relationship based on good sex and not mental compatibility. In the end the truth will come out. As you try to #balance your life with a #partner that does not understand you or is not your mental equal. Sex does not heal all. People want to claim they love you but are unable to explain why.

Beautiful women, handsome men and shapely body people create a desire in us for what they look like and not for their #minds. We live in hope that maybe a great body equals a great #mind. We love the sex but not the person. I feel good during sex but I wish they would not speak so much afterwards.

Saying they love you is supposed to be some magical restorer. In time you start to realise the promise of love is not enough. Why is it knowing all of this, people still cannot leave.

The body remembers what the mind forgets. The #body remembers good as well as bad sex. It does not want to re-experience the disappointment of bad sex. This is more important to the women than the men. A woman could crash the whole relationship if the first time does not work out, no matter how good the guy is.

Men are more likely to remember the woman`s body and what she allowed him to do, than how he felt during sex. Men fall in love much quicker with the idea of the woman, than women do with men. A woman wants to fall in love with the person and how well they treat her, men just want to fall in love with how the woman feels about them.

It is easy to become #addicted to the #sensation and no longer ask questions about who you are sleeping with. Before you know it, things can become out of control. You can begin to make promises to someone you feel, but do not know.


We have been told that love solves all and that the right partner will make everything alright. That sex is a display of love and that our bodies now belong to those we have become involved with. We fall in love with this idea and build it into the framework of who we think we are. We have now added the concept of trust into a situation where we may have a physical connection with someone, but we do not mentally know them.


The #power of the sex dynamic within a relationship has been artificially inserted. We have tied our self worth to a person we do not know and now measure ourselves sexually and not mentally.

How can you live up to their previous partners you never met. This creates an initial fear going into a relationship that is based more on sex than it is on love. I feel that much of the undermining of women has been done to compensate for the fear that men feel regarding this matter. I truly feel women`s secondary position in western religion is more sexually based than mentally based.

When you consider that to swear or speak profanity is based on sexual acts and women`s sexual anatomy. Religion has firmly tried to limit the power of women, she is the temptress, the deceiver, the one at fault for the original sin, and I think we need to evolve beyond this.


Let’s get #spiritual, as our #energy has a form of spiritual interaction with everyone we meet. Our partners are the energies we focus on, based on the need for sex or the hope of love. Quiet as kept, we are now in the hands of energies within us we do not understand.

We crave sex without the appreciation of where the thought has come from. We feel it before we understand the thought. We are triggered by people who remind us of pleasant sexual memories of the past and those who we feel can help us get to the true point of it all.


You can have the best sex in the world as many times as you like and still feel the void within. No matter how much the person shows they love you and do for you, can you feel it inside? The heavy sensations felt during sex can be confused with love; however this is just a very pleasant distraction for the real job at hand.

My ancestors explained to me there are many portals like those described as the #chakras system around our body. I was advised that the one referred as the base chakras has an aspect to it that is best described as our #darkness and our #light.

These two aspects live in a state of war and non balance with each other as these energies are battling to seek control over the direction of our lives. Many of us would like to pretend that we have chosen our partners based mentally arrived reasons, our bodies if asked the question, would tell the real story.

The light aspect is our hopes and dreams of finding love enough to fill the dark void within us. A love that will help us, not judge us, support us and be with us as we go through cold turkey over the addictions to ideas about ourselves that we want to get rid of , but do not trust anyone will care enough to allow us to go through it with them.


The dark aspect is the sexual or abuse or very bad judgement events we keep to ourselves. The moments that we pretend that do not define us, but hide in the eyes behind our smiles. We find ourselves recreating these events when we feel our partner will understand or care or are attached to us too much to leave.

We do not know how to stop these feelings as they lay in wait for the moment when they can surface and take control of the relationship. They are the reason why people tell you if knew them beyond the surface you might not find them so appealing.


You have to experience someone`s character, you cannot see it.


All we need is love is true when you understand that you have to fall back in love with you. Nobody can give you what you do not want to accept for yourself. That feeling has to come from the inside and can only be fixed by you on the inside.

Praying, sex or being in love will not negate your part in the process. If you are love, you are going to need it to heal yourself.


The good fight between the dark and the light within us is where the battle has to be won. People struggle to be themselves as their dark side rarely allows them. We can try to find someone new who is different as a distraction; however we need to face it and start to appreciate these events. Though we happened to be present, these moments were not conducted by us.

The sexual energies involved in these events are numerous and have succeeded in making themselves appear as natural traits. People are mentally crucifying themselves over events where their bodies were used by energies that had more control over their body than their conscious mind did.


The ancients were aware of these energies and spoke of them until they were silenced by organised religions. The real you is buried under so many blankets of belief, it is hard for you to get up and start to look for ways to defeat the dark side of our selves.

The light will always come out over the darkness; the love of yourself will help you enjoy the life that you live. As the peaceful person seeks no argument with anybody, they will one day become the true embodiment of what we call love.

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